Focus on the possible

I have spoken to many patients struggling with stress and/or mental health issues since the start of the second lockdown. Many of them have said the same thing to me when I ask them about things they could put in place to help their wellbeing: “usually I would do [x] but I can’t do that now”.

For many people, the coping strategies they usually rely on just don’t exist at the moment, it’s different for everyone, but x might be social groups, outings, classes, going to the gym, going to work, visiting family, participating in volunteering – there’s so many different things that people do that contribute to keeping them well.

But what I am hearing is people can’t do the things they used to, so they are shutting themselves away and this is adding to their stress levels. A patient I spoke to yesterday told me she would usually go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week, but when she saw me it was the first time she had left the house in a week.

When we are stressed, our brains automatically default back to looking for the negatives – it’s a primitive response to be alert for danger and threats. We can’t do our usual thing, so we’ll hide away. It’s hard to find new alternatives when we are stressed.

Instead of dwelling on the can’t do’s, we need to look for the can do things – what is possible? We can’t to the gym, but we can go for a walk outside. We can’t go to the pub with our mates, but we can meet one person at a social distance – and maybe combine that with a walk or exercise too.

These small changes might not be as good as what we usually like doing, but it’s better than nothing.